Taking Responsibility For Your Feelings

Often people think caring, being compassionate, means catering to the emotional needs of another peroson. They think they need to say, "Oh, how are you feeling? You are sad today? You are depressed? Oh, just tell me what is it." They sit, listen and console the person; they support and in fact encourage the other person's feelings of negativity and misery. Pampering a person in this way just leads to a bigger mess.

Just realize how often you ask people how they feel. See, today you feel good. Tomorrow you don't feel good. Who cares? There is no guarantee you will feel good after doing anything. You may feel miserable. You may suffer. You don't need to care for people's emotions at all. This may look very cruel, but I tell you it is okay, because it makes you strong.

A wise person does not care for emotions because emotions are ever changing. And everyone has to work out their own karma. If you are feeling bad, you must have done something terrible in your past. Otherwise, why would you feel bad? Nature is never unjust. Nature always does justice. If you are unhappy, it's becuase of your own karma. If you are suffering, it's because of your karma. Suffer. Finish it off. Suffer and finish. Nature brings joy to one who has done good and brings suffering to those who have down wrong acts.

It is not necessary to care for anybody's feelings at all. Absolutely not. You needn't complain at all. The question is, are you doing your job? Do your job. That's it. That makes people really strong. And no one complains. Nothing to complain about. 

Once a very educated gentleman went to visit an enlightened master. A third person spoke with them, and then left the room, and in half and hour, that person met with an accident on the road and died. When the news came, the master just kept silent for a minute or two and then started doing his usual business. The gentleman said, "There's no compassion here. I cannot understand this."

For a Master, for an enlightened person, death and life is nothing. It's like going from one room to another room. A big deal! Time, inifinity. Dead and gone. So what? The person who is knowledge neither cries for the living nor cries for the dead. Do you see what I am saying? It's not lack of compasson. But compassion we often misunderstand as pampering, telling nice words, giving attention - all those things. There is no way you can demand that kind of attention in the company of a true master. If you demand attention - get out! Straight. When you complain, you will be asked to just get out. Do your job and be happy. That's it.

That strength of discipline helps people to go beyond their feelings and emotions. I think that is good because then you are busy doing something. You are not sitting and thinking, brooding over, expecting someone to console you or to uphold you. Isn't it? Simply working, simply busy and achieving your goal. Your mind is focused on that. Then that brings so much strength in you. 

Certainly I don't want you to whine and complain. No way. I don't care how you feel. I care for you and I don't care how you are feeling. You feel up and you feel down - it's so much moodiness. So much wasting of time happens in this.

Take responsibility for your own feelings. In the world, often people throw their responsibiliy of their feelings on others and on situations, circumstances. Somebody else is responsible for my feeling down. Because you said this thing to me, I am feeling low. You didn't look at me, so I am feeling low.

You know, no one is responsibily for the way you feel. YOU are totally responsibile if you are feeling happy or unhappy. Take that
responsbility. When you take responsibility, you gain power. Then you become happy. 

JAI GURU DEV

January 2000
Bad Antogast, Germany